The Life Letters

So, i think this letter may be a bit tedious, or maybe not. I do know that the second bit, is more interesting, at least to me.
Just thought I'd give a heads up : )
Alice

P.S. If you ever have any questions or ideas, please say, i like to interact. : )

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Subject: chat
Response By A

-------

good day to you,
: )

[e]
...Many people have said so, and I've come to realise
that time is a bigger issue for many people than for
me.

hmmm, well i suppose that this is true for many reasons...in some ways it is like with this letter...the ideas expressed within have been on their own 'cycle' so that usually when you reply i'm not in the same place i was when i sent the original...you'll see what i mean when you read my responses below.
how come you don't change your 'weighting' according to the personal time preferences amongst those you communicate with?...it's sort of something people do you know...

> > [a]
> the same problems? like what?...how do you help?
[e]
...We all have the problem of not having a supportive
sane culture to live in. People get individual
problems within this and I help in various ways.
Someone may want information that I can find for them
or help with exams, designs or ideas. Some may want to
contact others in the same field of study or are
having trouble finding what they want via google. Some
people just like to talk and that helps them think
things through. So there's no single answer really :
)

this is pretty cool, it sounds like you are a good friend : )

[a]>
> since you haven't responded to my last letter, i'm
> assuming you found it
> a.incredibly low priority or b. well i don't know,
> maybe b is just the same
> thing as a...
[e]
...I am not aware of having missed replying to any
letters although I know I am somewhat behind at the
moment with mails. -if I have missed one, please let
me know.

i think you responded to it the day i sent this one...see... : )
sorry, i might of been just a tad 'bitchy'.... : )

[a]i can't
> 'realistically' jump universes' or even
> bodies...when i'm caring for my
> children. i would be afraid to hurt them...
[e]
I don't understand this. Natural processes don't tend
to harm anyone...

yeh, after writing this i got to thinking about it more in depth, and figured out that i 'can' do this : ) i don't know why i was 'worrying' about jumping universes...i don't even know how to do that yet...but i did get that whatever i do, i can do it with them : )

[e]
I don't see why there's a problem with being a program
in a human body and brain...?

yeh, nothing wrong with it...it's that same thing again...
writing to you and then learning... : )

[e]
That seems to be what
most people are. And I still get the impression you
look on 'teaching' as something you have to do, rather
than something you allow to happen...?

: ) mmhmm, i do think i get ahead of myself sometimes...

> [a]
> yes,...you are currently an incarnated
> spiderman...to my son.
> i wonder who i am to him..incarnated-wise...
[e]
....You probably guessed that I didn't get the
"Spiderman" thing : )

i guess i mean 'you' like in a general 'computer' in one's head sort of way. he has designated 'spiderman' as the dude to know and get along with... : )

> [a]
> i guess the question is 'what is unfolding'?
[e]
Intelligence unfolds...other things don't so much
'unfold', as plummet. But I don't really understand
your doubts...from what you tell me, these young
people have had a pretty decent start in life compared
with most, and they have ongoing interaction with at
least one sensible person, again more than most...

yeh, the above is true...we do lead an existence that seems to be primed for intelligence to emerge...in many ways.
comparatively we are probably some of the most fortunate people on the planet...

> [a]
> i feel like i am playing 50/50 with the world...i
> feel like i am moving
> nowhere slowly
[e]
...Yet a couple of weeks ago you were saying how much
you had changed : ) Maybe you've now got to one of
those times when you have to catch up with
yourself...?

: ) i have

> [a]
> i would like to include myself in that sentence as
> well.
>[e]
...Okay. -Where abouts?

i meant this one : )
> yes, my kids are really intelligent to begin
> with...it hurts seeing it
> thwarted...
i include myself in it now...i don't think we're being thwarted anymore...
for the record i am in a level place now, a balanced mode : ) i made it through the 'what's important to me and why' experiment... : )

[a]
> yeh, i didn't really mean 'for' ...i'm having a hard
> time growing two
> worlds...i'm not growing them because i have to, it
> just seems to be what i
> do...and all i really want to do is grow one...or
> combine them...that isn't
> 'intentions' either...it's survival.
[e]
Well you're in the right place on X-x to
build a paradigm for a unifying lifestyle...as far as
I can see all the basics are there already -everything
you do is already focused on the beneficial...Maybe
I'm not understanding properly how the two aspects can
come into conflict...?

mmm, it must have to do with confusion that arises while exploring the different aspects, the needs seemed to be contradictory at first...now they have merged together and run parallel : )

[e]
Yes; if you are closer to someone, the information is
easier to exchange. That just means you can pack more
in during the same amount of time. -But what do _you_
need less or more of?

ummm, i think i need more exposure to new environments, more interaction with random events and people...

[e]
> Being with
> > them would normally be the best thing for all of
> you,
> > but there are circumstances in which this is not
> the
> > case. Your job is to figure out whether this is
> one,
> > and then to accept and trust whatever intelligence
> > dictates as the best course for all of you and
> don't
> > interfere with it.
> > An individual expression of intelligence is not of
> > much use if it remains insular and dies when your
> body
> > does. Interaction is always the way to greater
> > intelligence.
> [a]
> do you know that i agree with you in all ways about
> all of this?
>[e]
...Yes; I mention these things in case they have
fallen out of recognition or in some cases because I'm
not sure how much of some areas we both know.

yeh, it's funny how we know so many similar things, and yet see them from such different places. i'm starting to see how the synchronicities i recognize aren't always the same way as the ones you do.
: )

> [a]
> we all still co-sleep..they were weaned around 13-14
> mos old... when milk
> production stopped.
[e]
It's not usual for lactation to stop by itself if
feeding on demand is going on, but it does happen.
There are various herbal products that can help, if
you want to take it up again.

with the first, it was the second pregnancy that stopped production, with the second, it was her visitation with her father.
i thought i was pretty up on b-feeding applications, i have never heard of herbal supplements to 'start' milk production, could you pass that info on?

[a]instinct
> that was very much against the grain...i say was,
> because around where i am,
> things have changed significantly...this sort of
> childbirth is the norm, and
> becoming more so daily...it was as if by my doing
> it, the knowledge was
> absorbed into the 'area' so that others could access
> it...
[e]
Things are improving in some parts of the Western
world regarding childbirth and care, and it's great if
the community is supportive. We still have a way to
go, but every improvement is a good one : )

yeh, i think that you're not recognizing what i'm saying, when i say 'the knowledge was absorbed'...although of course you are right about every improvement is a good one.
what i'm recognizing is that i have a direct effect, that is what the whole point of me questioning my lifestyle was really about.
if i know i have a 'direct effect' what is the best way to implement it...how can i extend myself...

[e]
> That's all intelligence needs at this stage;
> > nothing more, just your presence.

lol, that's funny : ) [i mean in relation to what i just said]

> [a]
> i really think i don't like this letter...it has
> turned into such a huge
> identity crisis for me...
[e]
This _is_ "the stuff that only .00001% of humanity
ever
does".

yeh, i know...funny how things become themselves : )

[e]
These are exactly the kinds of decisions that most
people cannot and never will be able to face.
We shouldn't dislike things because they are
complicated or difficult...we're starship captains,
not wimps : )

aye, aye captain e : )

[e]
Complicated, difficult problems to
solve keep us smart, so we should never be afraid to
face them, especially with friends.

i really like the feeling of being your friend, i think it is important to recognize, at least for myself....you make me feel the same way my best friends make me feel, although...in some ways you make me feel more...anyways, i'm glad we're friends : )

[e]
There should be no identity crisis here because all
you have to do is be honest. What matters more to you?

do you know what you are asking me?...i mean....i'd really like to know what you think are the things i'm choosing between.
of course, i will be meditating on this for some time, i can not answer in full at this moment.

[e]
It's no good trying to do "the right thing" if you
don't feel good about it, because "feeling good" is
part of doing the right thing. If you put 100% of your
time into your children and consequently feel very
weary and grumpy, you aren't doing them any favors,
and you'll end up with two weary, grumpy
adults...d'you see?

yeh, our time is pretty 50/50 between their father and i, i have been enjoying our time together, so...

[e]
Accept your energy, tolerance,
patience and interest for what they are, then work
with it. Find the truth, and never be ashamed of
following it, whatever you have to give up or take on.

yeh, did i say you're a good friend? : )
these are the things i have to think about...i want to be their mom, and i want to be in the world too.
what i'm doing is just riding the wave at the moment...seeing where the tide turns.

[e]
Honesty: if the truth is "I don't know what the hell I
want to do or be", then accept _that_ as the truth.
Until you do know, keep as many options open for
yourself as possible. At some point, you will see
where you prefer to go. Intelligence always gets there
in the end, sometimes admittedly not as fast as we
would like it to. : )

yeh, but patience is a virtue ; )

[e]
...It gets a bit easier when we know how to spot
problems, doesn't it? : ) It might help the above
if you 'wear' your daughter for a while until she
wants to venture away from you herself.

i do. e, it really is bizarre how i was programmed to know_all_of the right things to do. there were no examples of beneficial behavior around me. and i still knew. it's sort of why...i feel like my life is taking a turn that i had never anticipated but was nonetheless always aware of...i keep seeing these clues that in this 'turn' my children and i are 'separated' physically for some amount of time.
anyways...i'm sure it'll all work out.

[a]
> i'm going to spell out my predicament so that i can
> understand it...
> i don't think i am a human being...in the classical
> sense of the
> world...being that my children share my genetic
> makeup, it would stand to
> reason then that neither are they.
[e]
I don't understand this, unless you mean that you are
not very much like most 'humans'...Most people into X-x
are not "normal" in this sense, but I tend to think of
it the other way round -The guys on X-x are the real
humans : ) -or are certainly more like humans were
intended to be.

yeh, i agree. it goes back to the epigenetics thing. now i'm able to know why my family is so unusual in regards to our abilities to create our own 'worlds'. we all have these traits and talents that other 'people' don't, and it's very obvious.

[a]we have all three
> put ourselves on this
> planet together for a reason...we change things. as
> their mother i feel as
> though i am supposed to implement a phase shift
> sometime in the near future,
[e]
...I understand all this so far, but:
[a]
> to do this i have to leave them for sometime...
[e]
That makes no sense whatsoever.

i know. that's why all the turmoil. like i said above, i just keep 'seeing' clues that suggest this, and i really don't get it. and it's not just'as their mother' it's 'as i am'.

[e]
If you isolate
yourself during a matrix shift you may even stop it
happening. The important thing is to keep doing the
things that have led to it in the first place.

yes, it goes back to what you said about intelligence and nurturing individuals...it feels like i'm supposed to nurture...places. so that they grow, and the people in them too.
it seems ridiculous, i'm just telling what the clues are, at least the ones i've found so far.

[a]on
> the bright side since we
> are all sufficient in bonding there are avenues we
> can still interact
> in...
[e]
It makes me amused how people don't see the value of
that : )

how do you mean? people in general or me in particular?
: )

[a]having conditioned myself with so many 'human'
> impediments during my
> own childhood, i find that i really want more for
> them, i want a world where
> those 'impediments' existence is comparable to a
> tissue, and they already
> have a towel. : )
[e]
Mmm, this is what I meant above when I said everyone
faces similar problems...

yeh, remember when i asked you if you realized the impact you have on the world. i know i'm going farther then any of my ancestors, and i know my children have it within them to go farther as well. if i take part in phase shifts that create more autonomy in general...this can only benefit my children, in far greater ways then if i had spent all my moments with them.
i'm almost tempted to stop this conversation, because i think i have it all figured out, and then i start thinking again, and realize i'm still not sure about where i'm going. but no matter, i just need to remind myself that what emerges, will be.

> [a]
when i say i want to do things different...i mean
> from the old paradigm that
> a parents place is with their children.
[e]
There is scientific proof that children thrive best in
the company of the people they originally bonded to
for the first seven years, but only if those people
are sensible. There is also solid proof that this does
not need to be parents [adopted children can bond, as
can those raised by friends or relatives]. The
constancy of a bonded companion is the only important
factor, and that only for the first 7 years.
So you are right! The only person/s whose 'place' is
with children are people who want to be with children
because they enjoy it and get inspired by playing with
them. Anybody else 'being with children' is pointless,
both for the adults and the children.

the question isn't whether i want o or not, i do and i am. funny how that saying applies to so much. it's the 'clues' that are confusing me as to what is happening or is going to.

[e]
Whole families
often waste their time in this way because they can't
face the truth that they should really be getting out
of each other's way, and some couples stay together
'for the children' [who grow up with two miserable
people instead of one happy one] : ) Most of this
sort of thing happens because people are afraid of
what others will think of them. Hacking that
particular mental dragon is a thing that very few are
strong enough to do.

i'm not afraid to do what i have to do, i'm just not sure what it is yet. the more time goes by, the more i realize that of course they are going to be fine, and so will i. and that should we be 'separated' temporarily, that is all it will be.

[a]>
followed my instinct in
> regards to them for 13 years now...
[e]
...I'm getting very confused about how old everybody
is! ...?

i'm sorry. that was when i got the first clue about having my son. it was a very big clue that shaped the 10 years following very specifically. my children are my son 'm' who will be 3 on x-x-x-x. and my daughter 's' who will be 2 on x-x-x-x. f is my best friend t's daughter. she will be 12 on x-x-x-x. she is really like a niece to me, and i am her 'cool' auntie. : )

[a]
[that was when i
> learned i would have my
> son]...i suppose this is the next step...creating a
> space of autonomy for
> myself....i really never expected it, it has thrown
> me for a loop.
[e]
I'm not quite sure what that means but I do know
autonomy is important. As I said, if I can't even look
after me, how could I take care of anyone else?

yeh, i have the feeling i can become one of those humans to fully achieve this. very literally, and that it will cause epigenetic changes that will benefit not only my children but others as well, and of course myself too.
as for now, i'm really not going to sweat it, because afaik i'm not leaving so, i have all the time in the world : )

[e]
NO! Just focus on intelligence! You can
> > develop all three at once by interacting.
> [a]
> exactly, i just need to exercise time and space
> differently.
[e]
Hmm, the old 'time and motion' issues seem to get
everyone in one way or another...

lol : ) mmhmm, i can't stress over this, as time goes by, the path will be more and more evident, i've made the right choices so far, and i have faith i'll continue to do so.

[e]
Maybe your
> > intelligence needs to learn about how to work
> better
> > with others...?
> [a]
> yes it really does.
[e]
Well that's good cos we've started...if we can keep
going through rough weather we've pretty much got it
cracked : )

yeh, it's nice knowing i may have a friend for eternity : ) when i think about it, i think that is all i was looking for from the four others. [just so you know, they were relationships, but not in the boyfriend sense, i hope i didn't throw you a curve, i should have clarified that bit.]

[e]
> > As intelligence's needs are met they grow less
and
> > less over time. If they are not met, they grow
> more
> > and more over time.
> [a]
> yeh, i think i am approaching an idea of where i am
> going with this.
[e]
.."Take it easy on yourself, you know that you should,
We're so full of what is right we can miss what is
good" : )

you're so brilliant, thanks : )

[a]>
> yeh, i'm seeing things clearer now...it is so
> peculiar to have a thought
> you've never thought before...that is a very rare
> thing for me, did you
> know?
[e]
Maybe it's something that should be gotten used to...?
: )

i guess that's something i can bet on : )...i'm really glad it's low res now, it's giving me time to get adjusted...although the curious parts of me keep looking at everything...just sort of expecting....

[e]
> > > All
> > > concerned
> > > > will reap the most benefit if you nurture
> > > > intelligence, not individuals.
> [a]
> right...do both at the same time, differently : )
[e]
..No, in the same way : )

oh yeah! silly...me...
: )

[e]
> It can be hard
> > to remember not to take things too seriously -it's
> > only a game, as far as intelligence is concerned.
> [a]
> it's very difficult to see children as a game, ya
> know?
[e]
...No more difficult than seeing life and death so...?

you make me happy...you're right of course...it was an old train of thought that made me express that sentiment... : )
thanks for learning me e : )

[e]
...sounds like you've got it pretty much sussed then,
and the only real problem is your feeling anxious that
you might not have...? : )

mmm...yeh, being as i'm older in a different 'matrix' then they are, i suppose this makes sense...sometimes i wish i could just get back to that place of such ready acceptance in regards to life and its changes, the way that young children do...i used to have it fully, and then something happened and it...went away, i've been having to rebuild it ever since...that was 13 years ago. that must be the reason it has been harder to build, because i wasn't a child when i had to start rebuilding.
oh, totally random but i'm 31, how old are you? is it impolite for me to ask you personal questions?

i love you i do,
a

does that make a really bad sandwich ; )

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Subject: chat
Part Two
Response By A

-------

hey again,
i forgot about this part...

[a]
i was learning so much
> constantly, and to
> continue to do this, i realized i needed to make a
> choice....between myself
> and my children....
[e]
A lot of people seem to go through this. It can be
difficult because in some cases the wrong decision is
reached [to go in either direction] because of
anxiety. But I think you're able to make a sensible
assessment because you're not too scared : )

yes i'm not anxious about it anymore that's for sure. the things you have taught me about sentiment have been really positive lessons, ones that i'm able to share with my girlfriends who are experiencing their own predicaments in regards to their own sentiments...so thanks from all of us : )

[a]
what a pleasant week it has been,
> let me tell you. see, i
> actually _feel_different, when i am caring for them,
> almost like i am dying,
> even though it may not be 80 years to come to
> fruition, i can _feel_the
> little bits of dying, that lead to death.
[e]
I'm not sure I understand this, but it may be the
'letting go' experience described by Buddhists...?

i am endowed with a very free lifestyle, my only real commitment is to my children, other then that, i can pretty much do what i please. in my 'free' time my lifestyle is a reflection of the epigenetic changes i am currently exploring. i eat minimally, i sleep at will, i'm 'nourished' through my interactions in the world, and physically i feel full of vitality, it's the way i know i can extend my life indefinitely...it's as if i am what i know i am : ) when i'm with the kids, the level, 'changes'...as if my awareness of them somehow challenges my awareness of myself...or at least who i am when "i am what i know i am"
i have to use different resources for nourishment, physically...utilizing those resources, while good for the short term, are seemingly deleterious to a long-term life...i think it has to do with 'energy conservation'. when i'm alone i can...recycle. obviously i'm moving towards being able to do this all the time, and the older they get, the better i'll get at it too.

[a]
no matter if i
> choose to pursue living[self/genetic-actualization]
> or
> death[children/genetic transcription], i must
> seemingly release the opposite
> because they are contradictory in nature.
[e]
I don't think they are...I think the unity principle
is missing from this assessment...?

yeh, i agree, it took me a minute to see it : )
it is a challenge, but there's nothing wrong with that : )

[e]
One of the nastiest tricks of the Empire is to make
you feel like it is a part of yourself you're losing;
fortunately that's an illusion.

right, i think i did slip for a minute, but i;m on solid ground now : )

[a]
> and then there's me, little fucking program me...
[e]
...Not so very 'little', if you consider that the same
program is in everything in the universe...?

you do know who i am don't you? just kidding : )
right, but it's not exactly being utilized...

[a]
and
> i feel
> different...about everything.
> when i am autonomous, which i am when they are not
> with me, i feel
> everything, there are less and less distinctions
> between me and not me, sort
> of like a quantum computer...0=1,0=0,1=1
> simultaneously, and i know that my
> survival is based on my own genetic self
> program...and no longer some
> outdated group genetic/biological program.
[e]
Ooh, I think you may be unfortunately missing the
point here...I'm not sure if you've quite gotten the
hang of who "you" are...?

i'm not sure what you mean by this...although no, i don't think i've gotten the hang of it. given time and space and change, is that even realistic?

[e]
...It is the program that demands autonomy; not the
person. Our job is to allow the program the greatest
amount of autonomy possible. I believe you are correct
in assuming that biology is seriously limited without
mind, however we must not set mind up as working
against biology, but with it.

yeh, i mean i am in a biological body, a body that has a mind that says i need room to explore so i can turn into myself. i don't know if we mean the same thing when we use the word program. i think i am a program...and yeh, i'm on the same desktop with lots of others...but i don't think it's the only program...i don't know i have to think more about this...

[e]
Otherwise, you end up with a conflict between what the
Toilet Lords programming wants you to do, and what
biology wants you to do.

ummm, i don't think my program is a TL program...i'm pretty sure it would fall under biological...

[e]
The Toilet Morality says, "Be yourself! Be an
individual! Express your own desires!" and flaunts
matrix 5 as the ultimate accomplishment ["there is
only your self"].

yeh, this is definitely not what i'm trying to do...what i am is connecting not subtracting...

[e]
It turns us away from the gifts
nature provides and separates us into islands. We lose
empathy, and the desires and emotions of our own
platform takes over from the desires and needs of
intelligence.
anything that separates you from close allies is,
ultimately, deleterious to your growth.

totally, i guess the point of me moving in the world would be to empathize and make allies in a worldwide sense...

[a]
> and yet, i feel as though if i do the things i think
> i can do, the greatest
> benefits to my children and myself, are to be found,
> versus if i hold on to
> my logic that says "i am an animal, whose genetic
> survival depends on the
> survival of my children."
> which is not to say that i'm leaving my children to
> the wolves either.
[e]
What do you call 'benefits'...?
In reality, 'benefits' are things that help
intelligence to survive and stay sane : )

yeh, i feel like a cat chasing it's tail...when i attain the next level in growth...my children will benefit from it. due to genetics and mirror neurons...but it's more then that too...it's like a chain reaction...i mean about how when i think something....the world follows suit...

[e]
Genetic survival is not the aim of intelligence,
indeed genetic code must evolve and change, rather
than remain the same. I don't see why you're not
taking advantage of both possibilities here...I mean,
why not do whatever you want to do, with your
children? Sure, it will happen a little slower, but
you'll have gained so much more...

yeh, it's about their dad...i can't get around him not letting me take them out of the country...without a long drawn out battle...
and genetic change is what i'm talking about...
[the kids dad]
[e]
That's great, but I doubt that 'fate' is responsible.
It sounds like this person has matured in response to
the needs of reality, and that is quite a natural
[though admittedly rare] thing to happen. Perhaps he
has only recently perceived this so clearly and maybe
gone through a phase shift in awareness...

yeh it makes sense, i think my son's bonding capabilities has had an effect as well, sort of several things occurring simultaneously...i'm thankful for my children, they did alright in their choice of parents...

[a]
i have
> seen myself over the last week as well, and i have
> paid for the knowledge
> i've gained, with one reality for another.
> and your sentences above and below...could seemingly
> be made for him. the
> way he is learning and growing with his children...
> so now i have caught you up, lets move forward.
[e]
I am learning here too : )

what are you learning?

[e]
> > Mmm; sounds like some confusion over
> priorities...I
> > think that can be worked out, because really there
> > aren't any... : )
> [a]
> really? it must be nice : )
[e]
Yeh; it's about responding to the needs of
intelligence as opposed to the wants of society.

: ) you're almost too clever : )
just kidding!...i know exactly what you mean...

[e]
Intelligence cannot thwart intelligence. It can only
develop it. The best models for mind development are
kids. If anyone has access to healthy kids, that is
their fastest route to high intelligence.

cuz they interact through playing, huh...

[e]
There is no
"your time" or "their time" it is all intelligence's
time. Society teaches you to value 'your time' as
though it were something separate. It isn't.

this helped me to stop using my words as hindrances to my own goals...if that makes any sense...

[e]
There is
only one spacetime that we are manifest in and only
one fastest path to growth in any situation.

that's what i mean...i realized that by simply thinking 'my time' i was enforcing TL routes...

[e]
It might
not be the easiest or the most comfortable path, but
it will be the fastest. How much discomfort are you
prepared to face in order to become a superhero?

ummm, the first week of this letter was incredibly discomforting...but i made it through...

[e]
Maybe giving up "your time" or devoting it to
"somebody else" is the one thing you are really afraid
of? Or maybe the emotions that causes in you are scary
to you?

yeh, i have to work on that...the emotions that cause me fear...

[e]
Maybe you feel "ripped off" because you only
live a century or so and haven't even got enough time
to do all the things you want to do...

i'm pretty sure i have more then that...sometimes it makes me nervous, but overall, i try to focus on what i know, and what i know seems to support that i shall have quite a long life...what is difficult is remembering to build new routes where i _can_ give it time...remembering and applying...

[e]
but I believe
you may not fully recognise the opportunity for growth
here, and if you miss it you may not get another one.
I cannot really extend on what I first said here:

i hope you realize i have the whole time...if i didn't there would have been no struggle between leaving or staying...

[e]
...I don't understand why... The 'decision' appears to
have changed. -The original questions implied that a
decision needed to be taken through assessing where to
put energy into intelligence development, unless I
misunderstood...?

no you didn't, you can see how this has all shifted...i told you i'm random...when a new thought emerges...i seem to follow it through wherever it takes me, it always teaches me a lot more then woud've been obvious where it started...

[e]
It is now pretty apparent that the
intelligence area with the most potential in this
situation is the children.

it is full of potential...so are other aspects of my life though...and that's a good thing, ya know?

[e]
-Is it that you were just concerned about what they
were being exposed to when not with you?

originally, yes i was...looking back i'm rather amazed all the avenues this interactive lesson in biology has taken...

[e]
It's good to see people getting their act together,
innit? : )

totally, he is still stuck in a lot of places, but there aren't many out there who aren't...it is most beneficial for my childrens sake how much he has changed and how genuine it is.

>[a] i don't know that the rest of the letter applies
to
> this new information, i
> feel that what i have said above warrants a
> discussion.
[e]
Well I've tried : ) But as I say I could be a bit
lost as to how the discoveries fit with the decisions,

you're not the only one : ) all's well that ends well : )
see ya

a