The Life Letters

Subject: Chat
Written By A

heya dear : )

could you catch me up on this?.... please?
thanks

couches and kisses : )
a

------

Subject:Chat
Written By E

Hello : )
okay, I have to explain one thing first of all...
I know that my replies can sometimes be later than you
would like. There are a lot of people in contact with
me and I have to try to decide where it's most
beneficial and/or urgent to interact first. That's in
your interest and mine too, as intelligent people.
No one person monopolises my time because we are all
the same intelligence and most people are encountering
the same kinds of problems. I know how important time
is to you and I try to respond as fast as I am able,
but there is still only one of me.
more below

[a]
>..before i found out i was
> pregnant with my son, i had
> been living my life as a sort of quest...i would get
> side-tracked
> sometimes...but i was always in the process of
> learning. up until a year
> ago, i had sort of stopped. looking back i can see
> that in the moment of
> awareness that i was going to be a mother...i put
> all my perspective in
> regards to hope for the future into my child.

Biology does this : )
Don't worry; you just begin to learn from your
children, so they become 'a part of the quest'.

[a]
about
> a year ago, i was
> compelled by my own intelligence to return to _my_
> roots, and take back the
> life that i had been giving up.

On further reflection I don't understand this bit. I
don't understand why you had to give anything up in
the first place...?

[a]
> oh...this was very, very positive. i always thought
> it was as good for my
> children, as it was for myself....and seeing how
> their father
> _does_interact with them now, where before he
> didn't...i suppose i can still
> say that.

...And the answer to this completely depends on
whether their father is interacting, or is giving
examples of action/reaction eg 'good girl/bad girl'
programming?

[a]
> what i'm learning now...is that my own intelligence
> needs it's own
> platform...to be able to recognize itself...
> and that...putting the future in the hands of my
> children....is
> thwarting...my own...maybe...
> alright...let's work through this : )

Mmm; sounds like some confusion over priorities...I
think that can be worked out, because really there
aren't any... : )
First of all drop the separation. Our successful
future is in the hands of intelligence. It doesn't
matter whose, because it's all 'us'; okay?
...Now I know you've realised that your own
intelligence didn't mature fully before you had kids.
That happens to almost everyone, but the difference
here is that you've noticed. Most people don't; hence
the problems. But it doesn't matter, because having
kids enables you to trace back through your own
development by working with theirs, right? As they
progress through matrices, you can grow your own
intelligence right along with theirs by indulging in
the same pursuits; providing your own networks with
all the stuff they missed first time round!

> [a]
> > > first of all, i have to share custody with their
> > > father.

That's great as long as he's intelligent too. If he's
not, this is a problem you share with many. : )
One lesson to be learned is for the future -if you
ever decide to have more children, and you can't find
a highly intelligent partner or get IVF, you can make
sure there's no way to prove legally who the father
is. This can be achieved at registration either by
saying 'don't know' or by inventing a non-existent
third party. If problems occur in the relationship
later, there is then no custody problem. Children
having different surnames or the surname of the non
existent party helps.
This trick is not so easy these days because of
DNA testing, but it's been used by some people I know
[to ascertain freedom of choice for the children; not
the adults]. Smart people will go to some stunning
lengths to protect intelligence : )

[a]
>i also believe that children...when given
> the option, do have some
> very strong abilities to recognize...the platform
> they could best use in
> given moments...

Very much so...intelligence will always attempt to
unfold as it should.

> > [a]
> yeh, i can't really take them away from these
> influences, do you see...
> at least, not in the present tense...

That's not actually literally true, and you should be
aware of that. What you mean is, you don't currently
see a way, or you don't see a workable way. The two
are different. I don't see a way currently to achieve
cold fusion, but that's not the same thing as its
being either impossible or desirable.

Maybe you're not confident of your ability to go into
hiding for 15 years and survive and thrive throughout.
Or maybe you think that such an enormous hassle would
supply more deleterious input than it would beneficial
and so is not a wise choice. But you must remain aware
of the difference between what you are doing through
choice, -what you do not choose to change, and what
you literally cannot change.

>[a]
> how do you mean? btw they are 18 mos. and 3 yo.

Wow! There's a lot to consider here...
First of all, you need to know what an intelligence
needs at these ages in order to develop properly. I
had assumed you knew all this and I might have been
jumping the gun, so to speak...It might be wisest if
you do your own research here because otherwise it's
just me telling you things, and you'll understand them
better if you explore them yourself.
I've given some references later on to help, and some
notes at the end.

>[a]
> yes, my kids are really intelligent to begin
> with...it hurts seeing it
> thwarted...

If something hurts, it's getting in the way of
intelligence. You're in a position of power to avoid
that.

> [a]
> this is what is freaking me out...my dad left when i
> was 8 yo...it really
> affected me, but he was into attachment in a really
> negative way, so that
> probably played a huge role...

There are unfinished thoughts here. It looks like
you're trying to 'work out' stuff the hard way;
through logic and academia. That has its place in
context, but we're in a much broader context here.
Here's the easy view:
Your intelligence is heading in the right direction
and it matters bugger all how it got there.
...Okay? : )

[a]
i keep coming back to
> the idea, that if i
> allow myself the space...i can do lots of things for
> intelligence...things i
> really want to do...that, i don't have to wait 25
> years for my children's
> influence on the world...

It's not up to you to interfere and 'do lots of things
for intelligence'. It's quite capable of doing things
for itself; all you have to do is not get in its way.
What gets in its way? Anxiety and Intentions. Leave
both outside the door when approaching intelligence.
: )

[a]
> i 'never' ever considered leaving them with their
> father...and pursuing my
> own goals...it seemed like such a selfish thing to
> even think, in some ways
> it still does...
>

You are thinking in old christian/judaic sin terms;
using sentimental concepts such as 'selfish' and
probably 'guilt'. That's complete nonsense. For
example, if their father is more intelligent than you,
it would be better for them to be with him. True
enlightened self interest is a must if we are to get
anywhere with improving ourselves...but it may be in
your self interest to spend more time with the kids.
This is not a competition between your goals and
children taking up your time. This is a competition to
decide what's best for your intelligence. Being with
them would normally be the best thing for all of you,
but there are circumstances in which this is not the
case. Your job is to figure out whether this is one,
and then to accept and trust whatever intelligence
dictates as the best course for all of you and don't
interfere with it.
An individual expression of intelligence is not of
much use if it remains insular and dies when your body
does. Interaction is always the way to greater
intelligence.

>[a]
> this is b1...i had natural birth with a midwife, the
> cord wasn't cut for at
> least 10 minutes, they stayed with me for the first
> half hour, had 5 minutes
> getting weighed etc. were with their father and then
> with me...from then on
> out...we we're never separated other then 5
> minutes...we even co-slept.

Okay, mega cool : ) you've got the basics; what you
really need to suss is whether biology got all its
signals during that first half hour [the details].
There are 'check lists'for this in JCP's "Magical
child" chapter 7 pp53-56

If you can check off all biology's requirements on
either list, the important work has already taken
place.
All you need to do then is continue to respect
intelligence and provide an example of beneficial
behavior.
As I said:
> If the foundations for strong intelligence
> have
> > already been laid, and although it might get
> confused
> > and make mistakes along the way, it will return to
> > sanity and health all by itself because basically
> it's
> > not stupid. : )
>[a]
> will this still work? without the 2nd and 3rd
> variables?

It will give a headstart. Intelligence will then take
longer to develop the more deleterious input is given,
but it will develop unless all beneficial input is
stopped. You don't need to push intelligence, you just
have to give it what it needs.
It sounds like you have stopped some beneficial input
[breast feeding and sleeping together] because you use
the past tense 'slept'. The greatest gift you can give
to intelligence at that age is physical contact and
remaining available [and that means the children must
be able to access you _in person_ whenever they want
to.] That's all intelligence needs at this stage;
nothing more, just your presence. For the first seven
years of life, human intelligence needs the physical
presence of the person they bonded with at birth. It
still needs the input of your smell, your face, your
pheromones. The less it gets of these, the slower it
will unfold.
It also needs breast milk, at least until 3 or 4 years
old, or it will take much longer to build up the
proteins for gene transcription and it won't have
oxytocin levels conducive to maintaining bonds. This
causes anxiety, 'clingy' insecure behavior and fear of
loss, and the growth of intelligence slows down.
The good news is, biology doesn't care whose breast
milk it is as long as it's human, so if your own
biology doesn't make breast milk too well, you can
actually buy it or hook up with a few breastfeeding
friends and use some of theirs -and it can be mixed
into food [but not cooked].
...But if you're DIY breastfeeding, your custody would
have to be reviewed -a mom breast feeding on demand
must have access to her children 24/7. If you'd
brought this up earlier, you may have achieved a
better custody result, but it could still be usable
now. Nobody is going to deny the rights of a mom who
wants to b/f her kids : )
...So there's one more possible avenue towards change
for you : )

[a]
>> i think the queston i have, is if i give them
> significantly more time with
> their dad, in order to pursue the realm of
> being....i'm pursuing, if i come
> back at those times, would it make a difference?

I don't understand this bit, sorry...I'm just not
clear about what you're asking...?

[a]
> would i be a bad mom to do
> things different...than the way most others do them?

Since most people practise pretty bad parenting, the
answer to this is obvious. : )
What you really need to do is stop the separation -Is
focusing only on your intelligence likely to bring the
most beneficial changes for you and all concerned? NO!
-Is focusing only on the kids' intelligence likely to
do that? NO! Just focus on intelligence! You can
develop all three at once by interacting. When they
get into something interesting, you will learn more by
joining in. When you get into something interesting,
they will learn more by joining in. It's that simple.
You don't have to split time between 'your pursuits'
and 'their pursuits' because the pursuits of
intelligence are always the same. Maybe your
intelligence needs to learn about how to work better
with others...?

> [e]
> > 2. Current networks under construction [you can
> assess
> > this by functional analysis if you're not sure]
> > If the networks match up with the ages, you
> probably
> > still don't need to do anything. [see footnote]
> [a]
> can you explain what you mean with number 2?

There are optimal ages for building each network and
passing through each matrix, although you can do so at
any age, yeh? You know how old the kids are, so you
know what matrix they should be currently in and so,
if development is proceeding on optimal, you know what
networks should currently be developing. The 3 yo for
example needs the planet right now; because that earth
bond is just developing...s/he needs to interact with
earth and grass and trees and rocks and mud and
weather and stuff. The younger dude needs you; s/he's
still in the 'parent' matrix. So your optimal
environment is outdoors, with the little one close to
your body in a carrying sling or in arms. -No prams!
Then just get on with your own thing. If the small one
gets bored s/he will crawl off you and go & explore,
and then you just respond to the needs of intelligence
as they arise and leave the kids to it. They may fall
asleep on you or need food or demand your attention.
As intelligence's needs are met they grow less and
less over time. If they are not met, they grow more
and more over time.

>[a]
> yeh, the time they spend with their father and
> grandparents, really does
> seem to be quality...they watch crap on tv, but not
> alot of it...maybe an
> hour a day, otherwise there's alot of interaction
> happening between them
> all, and other then the 'attachment' conditioning,
> they really enjoy
> themselves.

TV is very bad for anyone of that age for many
reasons. I can send you some papers on this if you
like. The more time they spend out of doors, the
better, at that age.

[a]
>the county i live in has one of the
> largest
> homschooling/unschooling ratios in the nation.

This is great news; as long as other family members
don't oppose it. If they do, there are places where
you can get legal help.

[a]
> that's probably why i'm unsure...should i take away
> they're positive
> interactions with me, what will occur?

Why would you want to do that? It seems the very
antithesis of what we are trying to
achieve...remember, these interactions are just as
important for your development as for theirs...why
deny yourself good input?
...Me no understandy : )
As I said:
> All
> concerned
> > will reap the most benefit if you nurture
> > intelligence, not individuals.
>[a]
>i just feel so awkward even thinking these
> things, it's so new to
> me...i want to figure it out...ya know?

There's nothing awkward about wanting to learn and
have fun...it's what we exist for : ) It can be hard
to remember not to take things too seriously -it's
only a game, as far as intelligence is concerned.

> [e]
> [Footnote]
>
> > Between conception and age 2, humans should be
> > developing networks/matrices 1&2.
> > Between ages 2 & 6, humans should be developing
> N/M3
> > Between ages 6 & 10, N/M4
> > Between ages 10 & 14, N/M5
> > Between ages 14 & 18, N/M6
> > Phase shifts or matrix shifts happen around ages
> > 3,7,11,15 and 19.
> > If you need more info about what input is relevant
> to
> > what phase shifts, let me know.
>
>
>[a]
> i do that would be great, i think i asked you this
> in the other letter
> so.....
>

I've explained a bit more above about this, but
roughly sources of input should be:
1. The womb [conception-birth]
2. Bonded parent/s and sensory-motor
movement[birth-age 3]
3. Planet earth; the natural world, stories and
fantasy,[being read to; not reading] geography &
geology, sports, dancing, martial arts, athletics [age
3-7]
4. Materials, tools & techniques & society's skills
-role models and culture, music, art, computers,
mathematics & the rudiments of science, writing and
later reading [age 7-11]
5. The individual mind and our own ideas, abstract
concepts, academic ideas, science, philosophy,
history, logic and reasoning, self-image and self
confidence [age 11-15]
6. Intelligence itself; Strategy skills & multiple
association, reflection and introspection, overview
and decision making abilities [age 15-19]

These are the ideal ages for the development of these
skills via this input. Most people fall far behind
during the earlier stages, never getting what they
need to build the relevant networks. We've found
though that regardless of the age at which they are
provided, the brain will still catch up, and this is
how people are able to improve their intelligence
regardless of age. All you have to do is do things in
the right order, and the same success results. It
doesn't matter if this takes ten years or thirty; our
only aim is to enable it to happen at all.
...The big thing you miss out in all of this is the
children's desires. Where would they prefer to be?
That's the most important indicator of where they
should be. If they object to leaving you then don't
leave them. That's what supporting intelligence is
about; listening to it and doing whatever it needs.
There are three voices here -how much of each is being
listened to?
I hope this has helped,
Bfn,
e